Saturday, May 28, 2005
Change
A photograph never grows old. You and I change, people change all through the months and years, but a photograph always remains the same. How nice to look at a photograph of mother or father taken many years ago. You see them as you remember them. But as people live on, they change completely." -Albert Einstein.
Lately, I have noticed that last sentence to be more and more true. And I'm not sure it's change in a good way (although, what is meant by "good" is subjective).
Some friends no longer resemble the people I remember them as, for whatever reason... and it's something that honestly saddens me. It's tough to see those close to you change into people you never thought they'd be. And it's even worse when it's someone you're interested in or involved with romantically, but realize that they have changed into someone that is no longer appealing as a spouse.
It's really hard to hear about friends that used to vow to live sober lives but have turned into alcoholics and partiers. I'm not trying to disrespect those people who live that lifestyle, but it's just not for me. I could go on for hours why... but we'll just leave it at this: the logic behind it doesn't make sense to me.
Similar to this is how people change because of relationships, whether that be while they're in one or after it's over (I know I'm guilty of this). It may be because of personality dispositions or control issues or whatever, but I just feel helpless when people change (for the worse) into someone they aren't. I've witnessed this numerous times with friends who were/are in bad relationships and 1) is one of the worst feelings out there, and 2) makes me want to severely injure their spouse/ex. (I'm kinda protective of those I care about, in case you couldn't tell)
Change is a natural process in everyone's life, including my own, and is required for progress. However, not all changes are improvements.
I ask of all of you that if you notice a negative change in me, do not hesitate in confronting me about it. I like to think of myself as having a good understanding of who I am and what I want, but I know I'm far from perfect. I'm always open to suggestions of ways to make myself a better person and friend.
Lately, I have noticed that last sentence to be more and more true. And I'm not sure it's change in a good way (although, what is meant by "good" is subjective).
Some friends no longer resemble the people I remember them as, for whatever reason... and it's something that honestly saddens me. It's tough to see those close to you change into people you never thought they'd be. And it's even worse when it's someone you're interested in or involved with romantically, but realize that they have changed into someone that is no longer appealing as a spouse.
It's really hard to hear about friends that used to vow to live sober lives but have turned into alcoholics and partiers. I'm not trying to disrespect those people who live that lifestyle, but it's just not for me. I could go on for hours why... but we'll just leave it at this: the logic behind it doesn't make sense to me.
Similar to this is how people change because of relationships, whether that be while they're in one or after it's over (I know I'm guilty of this). It may be because of personality dispositions or control issues or whatever, but I just feel helpless when people change (for the worse) into someone they aren't. I've witnessed this numerous times with friends who were/are in bad relationships and 1) is one of the worst feelings out there, and 2) makes me want to severely injure their spouse/ex. (I'm kinda protective of those I care about, in case you couldn't tell)
Change is a natural process in everyone's life, including my own, and is required for progress. However, not all changes are improvements.
I ask of all of you that if you notice a negative change in me, do not hesitate in confronting me about it. I like to think of myself as having a good understanding of who I am and what I want, but I know I'm far from perfect. I'm always open to suggestions of ways to make myself a better person and friend.
