Monday, January 24, 2005
Something I Don't Understand
Why is it that when you get into a disagreement/fight/argument, whatever you choose to call it, with someone (usually, for me, it's a girl), they "don't want to talk about it right now?" This is likely because they are "too angry" and don't want to discuss it further at the current time. This is something I've heard called "running away from a fight." My question is this: when is the appropriate time to talk about it then? Some other time when they're mad again? Some other time when they're happy? Something in the middle? (Is that possible?) Let's take a look at what usually happens in each scenario.
Okay, enough ranting for now. Hope ya had a good weekend and have a good week in class/at work/doing whatever it is you do.
- When they're mad again: You're probably already fighting or arguing again and you bring up an old, unresolved fight. Reasonable thinking is that 1) the fight will get even bigger and out of control and you'll both get even angrier, 2) they'll run away from the fight again, or 3) somehow you'll resolve one or both fights (yeah.... right).
- When they're happy: You both are having a good day and you decide its time to resolve the fight. Reasonable thinking is that 1) they get mad at you for bringing up something negative and you both end up getting mad again and don't solve anything, 2) they'll run away from the fight again, or 3) you both manage to keep your cool, understand the other's argument, finally resolve the fight, and all is well.
- Something in the middle: I don't know what exactly this might entail, but see the above two scenarios.
Okay, enough ranting for now. Hope ya had a good weekend and have a good week in class/at work/doing whatever it is you do.
Friday, January 21, 2005
Where to begin?
Ok, so I'm pretty pissed off about a few things that have been happening lately, but I'll get to those in a little bit.
First, a quick update on me. Classes have started to pick up and I'm starting to feel the pressure of my schedule. I have NUMBEROUS assignments to do this semester, lots of papers, tons of required field work to do in April for Forensic Science, more projects than I've had the previous three semesters combined, and SEVEN quizzes and a final for my stats class (and in the instructors own words, the quizzes should be thought of more as tests). Not to mention I actually have/want to keep up on the readings... which is no easy task for this non-"social reader."
My car was busted last week... it wouldn't start on Sunday when I had to pick up Amy at the airport so I borrowed Dane's car (I don't think you read this but thanks a ton dude). My car was towed Tuesday afternoon... didn't get it back until Friday evening. Turns out there was a torn gasket in the engine or somethin like that and there was moisture in the cylinders so the gas wouldn't spark. In addition to that, I had to get the thermostat replace cuz mine was stuck open or somethin and it was causing my car to run rich (more gas than normal and less oxygen), which combined with the broken gasket meant it didn't want to start. They also did an oil dye test where they put a flourescent dye in my engine oil and ran my car, then used a black light to see where it was leaking oil. All in all, it cost me like $460 and I still have to replace the oil pan since thats where it was apparently leaking.
As far as good news goes... Danny and Ben moved into the house and everything is great there. We finally got that desparately needed second fridge, which was quite some fun getting into the basement. The new bathroom down here FINALLY has flooring... the guy finished it today. Now it just needs to be painted, the towel bars and tp holder put in, a mirror would be nice, and curtains over the window to block out any peeping toms and it'll be all set.
Ok, now onto the nitty gritty...
I was browsing through one of my friend's journals yesterday and thought that what he wrote about himself REALLY applied to me as well. The basic gist of what he said is that he likes to think of himself as a very logical person and one who likes to think rationally before making decisions. I've thought this about myself for a LONG time now, and although I know I'm not perfect and sometimes do illogical things, it is definitely something I strive to do. I almost expect it out of the people I know also, which oftentimes isn't a healthy thing to do, but I don't think it's a completely unreasonable thing to do. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people do illogical things intentionally, i.e. they KNOW it's wrong but do it anyway. I'm not talking about underage drinking or smoking pot or crap like that, I mean things like making statements that have no truth or validity to them whatsoever or taking the long way when they're pressed for time. Just stuff that doesn't make sense. I often encounter this when people make false statements, like saying something didn't occur when it really did (and I don't mean the time of day that it happened). I absolutely cannot stand that and will call ANYONE on it, I don't care who you are. If someone makes a false statement to me or while in my presence, I WILL call them on it. Usually, this results in them getting mad at me, even though they were the one lying. To be totally honest, I could care less because I choose to live my life as honestly as possible. I take pride in the fact that I don't bullshit with people and I tell it like I see it. That is something that I expect out of others as well. I don't care for liars. In fact, I hate them. Espeically ones that lie to hide things. One thing about me is that I'm very inquisitive and I ask A LOT of questions. If I ask someone a question (barring anything too personal) I expect an answer that is the 100% truth because unless I'm given a reason to think otherwise, I'm going to trust what they say. If you don't have the kahunas to say what's REALLY on your mind, get lost. And for those people that I'm close to, hiding something from me or omitting relevant information is, to me, the same thing as being a liar.
On a somewhat similar note, I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT when someone tells me what to do/think, WHAT I'm thinking, or WHAT my current mood is. I wasn't fucking born yesterday and as mentioned above, I'm someone who strives to make logical decisions. I'll do whatever I deem is right based on the knowledge I have, not what someone tells me. And for those people that think they have me all figured out and know what I'm thinking: FUCK NO YOU DON'T! Are you me? Are you somehow linked into my brain? Do you truly know where my heart lies? Do you possess the exact same knowledge that I do? Have you experienced the exact same things I have? If you answered no to all of those questions, thank you for proving my point. If you answered yes to one or more, then you are a fucking liar... so reread the previous paragraph. Just about everything I say, do, and think was said, done, and thought for a reason and I am the only one that knows the reasoning for it. As for those who think they always know or can tell what mood I'm in, you too are wrong. I am very good at hiding my emotions, unless I'm INTENTIONALLY trying to cue people in. Usually, if I'm just sitting around and doing nothing (i.e., watching TV or doing something quiet), I have a serious look on my face. SOOOOO many times has this look been perceived as me being angry... or bored... or something. IT'S NOT! It's me being content! Content with who I'm with, what I'm doing, where I'm at... life in general. I am, except in some situations, an extremely serious person. I take work seriously and always do my best. Out on the field, I leave it all on the field. I've always taken responsibility for my actions. And finally, I've never been one to mess around with random girls because 1) that's not who I am and 2) I want to find the one girl that is perfect for me.
While I'm on the subject, I just want to point out what I believe makes a relationship great. For those of you currently in relationships, maybe this will help. For those that are single, think about this for your next relationship. For all: I'd appreciate your feedback.
Honesty and communication are vital. You have to be COMPLETELY honest with your partner and have open lanes of communication to have a successful, happy relationship. Dishonesty and hiding things from your spouse (and suspicious behavior) on your part is THE source of distrust in your partner. And if something is bothering you, whether it be about life or something your partner did, tell them immediately. Then, they can (try to) do something about it then and there, as opposed to telling them hours later after you've been pissed off and end up arguing. I guarantee that if you tell them something they said hurt you, and they truly care about you, they'll apologize and do anything to make amends. If they don't, then they don't care as much as they should and you really shouldn't be with them.
I'm sure there was more I had to say but I'm tired, it has been a long day, it's getting late, and I have to get up for class soon.
Bring on the comments...
First, a quick update on me. Classes have started to pick up and I'm starting to feel the pressure of my schedule. I have NUMBEROUS assignments to do this semester, lots of papers, tons of required field work to do in April for Forensic Science, more projects than I've had the previous three semesters combined, and SEVEN quizzes and a final for my stats class (and in the instructors own words, the quizzes should be thought of more as tests). Not to mention I actually have/want to keep up on the readings... which is no easy task for this non-"social reader."
My car was busted last week... it wouldn't start on Sunday when I had to pick up Amy at the airport so I borrowed Dane's car (I don't think you read this but thanks a ton dude). My car was towed Tuesday afternoon... didn't get it back until Friday evening. Turns out there was a torn gasket in the engine or somethin like that and there was moisture in the cylinders so the gas wouldn't spark. In addition to that, I had to get the thermostat replace cuz mine was stuck open or somethin and it was causing my car to run rich (more gas than normal and less oxygen), which combined with the broken gasket meant it didn't want to start. They also did an oil dye test where they put a flourescent dye in my engine oil and ran my car, then used a black light to see where it was leaking oil. All in all, it cost me like $460 and I still have to replace the oil pan since thats where it was apparently leaking.
As far as good news goes... Danny and Ben moved into the house and everything is great there. We finally got that desparately needed second fridge, which was quite some fun getting into the basement. The new bathroom down here FINALLY has flooring... the guy finished it today. Now it just needs to be painted, the towel bars and tp holder put in, a mirror would be nice, and curtains over the window to block out any peeping toms and it'll be all set.
Ok, now onto the nitty gritty...
I was browsing through one of my friend's journals yesterday and thought that what he wrote about himself REALLY applied to me as well. The basic gist of what he said is that he likes to think of himself as a very logical person and one who likes to think rationally before making decisions. I've thought this about myself for a LONG time now, and although I know I'm not perfect and sometimes do illogical things, it is definitely something I strive to do. I almost expect it out of the people I know also, which oftentimes isn't a healthy thing to do, but I don't think it's a completely unreasonable thing to do. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people do illogical things intentionally, i.e. they KNOW it's wrong but do it anyway. I'm not talking about underage drinking or smoking pot or crap like that, I mean things like making statements that have no truth or validity to them whatsoever or taking the long way when they're pressed for time. Just stuff that doesn't make sense. I often encounter this when people make false statements, like saying something didn't occur when it really did (and I don't mean the time of day that it happened). I absolutely cannot stand that and will call ANYONE on it, I don't care who you are. If someone makes a false statement to me or while in my presence, I WILL call them on it. Usually, this results in them getting mad at me, even though they were the one lying. To be totally honest, I could care less because I choose to live my life as honestly as possible. I take pride in the fact that I don't bullshit with people and I tell it like I see it. That is something that I expect out of others as well. I don't care for liars. In fact, I hate them. Espeically ones that lie to hide things. One thing about me is that I'm very inquisitive and I ask A LOT of questions. If I ask someone a question (barring anything too personal) I expect an answer that is the 100% truth because unless I'm given a reason to think otherwise, I'm going to trust what they say. If you don't have the kahunas to say what's REALLY on your mind, get lost. And for those people that I'm close to, hiding something from me or omitting relevant information is, to me, the same thing as being a liar.
On a somewhat similar note, I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT when someone tells me what to do/think, WHAT I'm thinking, or WHAT my current mood is. I wasn't fucking born yesterday and as mentioned above, I'm someone who strives to make logical decisions. I'll do whatever I deem is right based on the knowledge I have, not what someone tells me. And for those people that think they have me all figured out and know what I'm thinking: FUCK NO YOU DON'T! Are you me? Are you somehow linked into my brain? Do you truly know where my heart lies? Do you possess the exact same knowledge that I do? Have you experienced the exact same things I have? If you answered no to all of those questions, thank you for proving my point. If you answered yes to one or more, then you are a fucking liar... so reread the previous paragraph. Just about everything I say, do, and think was said, done, and thought for a reason and I am the only one that knows the reasoning for it. As for those who think they always know or can tell what mood I'm in, you too are wrong. I am very good at hiding my emotions, unless I'm INTENTIONALLY trying to cue people in. Usually, if I'm just sitting around and doing nothing (i.e., watching TV or doing something quiet), I have a serious look on my face. SOOOOO many times has this look been perceived as me being angry... or bored... or something. IT'S NOT! It's me being content! Content with who I'm with, what I'm doing, where I'm at... life in general. I am, except in some situations, an extremely serious person. I take work seriously and always do my best. Out on the field, I leave it all on the field. I've always taken responsibility for my actions. And finally, I've never been one to mess around with random girls because 1) that's not who I am and 2) I want to find the one girl that is perfect for me.
While I'm on the subject, I just want to point out what I believe makes a relationship great. For those of you currently in relationships, maybe this will help. For those that are single, think about this for your next relationship. For all: I'd appreciate your feedback.
Honesty and communication are vital. You have to be COMPLETELY honest with your partner and have open lanes of communication to have a successful, happy relationship. Dishonesty and hiding things from your spouse (and suspicious behavior) on your part is THE source of distrust in your partner. And if something is bothering you, whether it be about life or something your partner did, tell them immediately. Then, they can (try to) do something about it then and there, as opposed to telling them hours later after you've been pissed off and end up arguing. I guarantee that if you tell them something they said hurt you, and they truly care about you, they'll apologize and do anything to make amends. If they don't, then they don't care as much as they should and you really shouldn't be with them.
I'm sure there was more I had to say but I'm tired, it has been a long day, it's getting late, and I have to get up for class soon.
Bring on the comments...
